turns out my arm doesn't like mercury or eggs.

Yesterday, previously thought to be a perfectly okay sort of day, actually turned on me and revealed it’s true evil. There I was writing my assignment, copious amounts of well phrased words pouring from my little fingertips, the dishes were washed, i had even (against doctors orders) hung a couple loads of laundry and, if you must know, was engaging in some textual flirtation with the trusty sidekick to boot. Ok, so it wasn’t a perfect day nor an excitement filled day, but i was enjoying it and apart from feeling  lethargic and my sore neck still being, well, sore, I was having a  good day.

Bam! outta nowhere it all went downhill. First my brain packed up its little tiny suitcase and decided an impromptu vacation was in order. My writing went from well-phrased to basic point form note-making in a matter of minutes. My brain-to-mouth communication highway shut down as discovered during an important phone call, and amongst this sudden brain fog, my post-swine-flu-jab headache flared up again, my sore neck decided to join in, both my needle sites started to ache and I felt, well, rather ordinary.

By 5:30 I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I couldn’t think what or how to cook dinner so the children’s meal consisted of:

• peanut butter sandwich
• slice of banana bread
• plain yoghurt
• diced peaches

That’s a balanced meal, right? I commend myself for performing so well under such conditions.

By 7pm i was on my bed, half asleep, half listening to the girls getting ready for bedtime. It felt like pain of one kind or another had invaded every inch of my body and I was shivering uncontrollably. At 7:30 I got up long enough to kiss the girls goodnight and implant myself into a very very hot shower in the dark. By 8, I was back in bed, my headache really intense, my eyes not able to tolerate any light, my neck and shoulder cramping badly, muscle pains all over my body, feeling feverish and flu-ish, my jabbed arm burning and itching and my head and stomach swirling uncontrollably.  I tried to sleep, all i wanted to do was sleep but i felt as though i couldn’t breathe properly, kept waking as though startled every time i started to nod off and my mind would not stop racing. I was thinking scary thoughts and worrying, my heart palpitating and mini panic-attacks hitting me every few minutes.  I was very nauseas and felt like i was coming down with the flu as well as like i’d been run over by a steamroller. I felt like a complete nutcase- a really sick and sore one. I would have panicked that it was an inoculation reaction, but no, i’ve encountered these feeling before. just never so intense.

I think i have definitely had a minor reaction to the H1N1 jab, my arm is very sore with a burning feeling and is extremely itchy with a big lump in my muscle which my doctor told me would. not. happen. Turns out my arm doesn’t like mercury or eggs. I have had the very intense headache since the jab too.

I get blood test results tomorrow and will know then if I have something new, or am stuck with the spooty fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue diagnosis. My thyroid levels are being checked too to see if Hashi’s has a hand in making me feel so junk.

Today i woke feeling revolting but, proud to report, got through an entire day’s work in the classroom. Yes there were times i couldn’t think straight, said the slightly wrong thing, had to sit because my legs wouldn’t hold me and wanted to shake certain children, but i did it! The other teacher aides were in bee-yat-ch mode today too, and I managed to restrain myself very well and not start any fights in the playground / staff room. One told me how to go up stairs correctly and the other told me how to hang a towel to dry, Yes, they truly think I am a dumbass and they need to feel superior in any small way they can find. I did not thank them for my new found knowledge of the mundane.

WEll, off now. I can feel another early night coming on. m:)

ps. btw, sidekick showed up on my door step on his trusty steed phoned last night in my hour of need. I made him play a game that he hates : tell me a story. He told me about sunsets and twilights on the river as he walks home which calmed me down and made me feel better-ish,  still hurty but loved. The only thing worse than feeling sick is feeling sick and alone. Luv ya guts trusty;)