You can't see in the photo, but the crotch of these pjs is completely ripped out and I'm wearing Hello Kitty skull leggings underneath. Total win.
I HATE being cold. It sucks. Maybe if I lived someplace that provided snow fall on a regular basis it would be different. Because pretty things go a long way in my book. And it’s hard to top a fresh, untouched snowfall.
Unfortunately, I reside in the bitter bible belt. Where snow too closely resembles semen. Which is totally prohibited. So God just doles out rainfall instead of snowflakes. It’s common knowledge that Christians dig golden showers*. And because God doesn’t always think things through to the finish**, all we end up with is vicious ice storms.
I’ve officially given up this winter. No more prancing around in stylish coats or prancing around campus in heeled boots. I’m staying at home and refusing to get dressed in anything that doesn’t significantly contribute to my warmth.
Because it’s all about me.
The rest of you frozen bastards have my full sympathy as you carry out your daily lives. I do pity you for not having the foresight to get yourself knocked up at a tender young age. My iron-clad line of “staying home to spend quality time with the children” is simply a nice way of saying, “Fuck you all. I have the option of spending my days at home dressed like a bum and I’m going to take full adantage of it”. Suckers.
* See: The Virgin Mary story. No funky white stuff.
** See: 1. Ex-boyfriends 2. My life story 3. The Sweet-Valley High book series
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