I’m tired and I haven’t written anything in a while so my grammar placements will not be healthy babies. I woke up at 8:30am, normally I wake up at 1pm, I worked from 9am to 11pm, I took breaks of course, but still, I did at least 12 hours and I forgot to eat lunch. My brain is tired beyond functioning properly and I’ve been restlessly rolling around in bed for two hours. I caught myself talking out loud, the cat was in the room so it probably thinks I’m weird, I’m pretty sure I’ve been talking to/by myself for the past two hours I was trying to sleep.
I now think Peacocks have love handles.
Okay okay, think of a Black Line. Kind of like this ——— without the space in between and more bold. Okay. So this line represents sturdiness and thickness and heaviness. This line is stereotypical. It wants to finish high-school and hopefully not drop out, go to a good college and hopefully not drop out of that either, it wants to get married, have kids, hate the kids, retire, and then experience divorce/lover’s death or its own death; probably by heart attack – the lard cakes were worth it though.
Okay now, now the squiggle’s turn. Picture the straight line turning into a wavy line like this ~~~~~ without the spaces again. Okay. THIS Squiggle bends, it bends, and it’s bendy, it wants to retire and then get married, it wants kids and then college….It..I dunno, It eats the steak first and then the salad last kinda deal. Okay, so I hope you get the picture and what my point basically boils down to is – I AM THE SQUIGGLY LINE.
Next subject.
I hate kids. Seriously, I hate kids (I’m thinking of little kids). They scream, they don’t speak coherently, they want sharp objects that’ll kill them and for some reason that’s a bad thing. They are little versions of you and if you don’t like you then opps. They are Spawns of feces and have life-draining abilities. I think if I were to have kids, maybe I would want to have one one day when I’m stupid and feel like I should ruin someone’s life love a mini-me, I’d probably give birth to like 8 children in countries that would give you residency/citizenship for having your spawn there. So that for one, I get extra passports but their siblings can go to their brother’s/sister’s country and apply for residency there which would be most useful if they killed someone in their country and need to run away from the government.
OR. I would have 8 kids in countries where I’d get the citizenship and then I’ll give it up for adoption so that it doesn’t drain my life away. Apparently having children makes you live longer cause you get the new cells of the baby or something along those lines. I’ll be giving my brat away to some needy family, maybe make a buck or two off of them, I get extra life points, get the citizenships, it would work out well for me. They might grow up to hate me and hunt me down and kill me though.
Next Subject.
Anarchy is cool and all, but, it’s rare to find true anarchists and I dislike people who wear the symbol without even understanding what it means or represents. I’m referring to the whatever genre kid who wears it because they think they’re cutting edge and unique, but if you look at it, no one is really unique anymore. People who claim to be individuals are still sheep and followers – they’re still useless. Besides, being unique is too hard, you’re always trying to top/be more outrageous than the next guy that you start looking more stupid than interesting. I’ve given up on the whole ideal of being ‘unique/amazing/whatever’ ordeal and being more, you know, myself.
But, back to Anarchists. I’m not an anarchist, but I like the idea of it. I would think, if people who really are anarchists they would give up all government objects/identity. So they’d give up their passport, for example. They wouldn’t believe in the 911 system and therefor never use it. I mean, if you don’t want government and rules, then you have to give up the ‘good’ things too, eh? Which is why Anarchy doesn’t really work unless you’re in the hills somewhere. For example, you live in the city, someone robs you, you shoot them, the police come (or the police find out you killed them) they take you to trial and bam, you’re in the government system again. So to avoid government is to avoid society – for now at least. There isn’t really a society that’s government free yet or ever.
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I’m leaving my job in two weeks, I’ve been there a little less than two years and it’s been too long to be doing shit like that. I seriously loathe people and their arrogance. I seriously loathe this job. So, I’m starting my company. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I have no idea what I’m doing. If my brain was capable of functioning I would go look up some useful information about something related to it and actually take advantage of my sleep deprivation, but NO, it’s probably punishing me for something I don’t remember doing.
People have been asking at my work ‘Where’ I’ll be going, I like how they sort of assume I’ll be at another company – another employee. Though, I don’t like telling them I’ll be opening up my own company soon, they look at me weird and probably assume that I think I’m better than them (I don’t) (or maybe they don’t and I’m imagining their mixture of shock/envy expression), but I don’t like lying to them over nothing, so I just want to tell no body I’m leaving so we will avoid the question/answer session.
It’s one of those things where you’re sooo glad you’re leaving that you almost don’t believe you’re actually leaving and I’m starting to fear the unknown but it’s okay cause I rather dive into the unknown than work at a place that doesn’t get the brain guts moving. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m gonna pretend I do know and maybe it’ll stick – as long as the client doesn’t know, then we’re good.
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The dude and I will be making animations..eventually. We’re still kinda nooby at it so it’s taking longer than wanted, but we both want to do this, and god damn if he doesn’t do anything/doesn’t help/finds out he doesn’t want to do it, then I’ll be dragging one iced leg with me and I’ll do it my bloody self. I know I WANT THIS, I just need to find time, I need to organize my time better so that I can get the business going and get clients and be able to draw/manage the animation project all in a seven-day period. Sounds easy enough.
Next subject.
So, I was looking at Craigslist and there was this guy looking for a comic book artist. My foot was injured and so I decided I’d do something fun and new. God, I told him I’d have it done by Thursday. I spent a bit of yesterday working on it until I figured out what I wanted exactly and the overall design and then I spent all day working on it today. I love doing it at the same time I wish I didn’t email him. I hope he likes it at the same time I hope he doesn’t like it; just so I don’t have to do 200 pages of his graphic novel and dread over every page and how sucky I am at drawing things repetitively. Though if he does pick me, I would be happy to do it, I think. It’s a love/hate relationship with my art and drawing people skills. Tomorrow I will be finished with just the example page of five comic panels (he asked for five, but I’m making six cause it’ll be nicer looking that way) and then continue working on the web site and content writing of it. Speaking of my website, it is also a love/hate relationship.
Godd..I hate this, and I hate working all day and not being able to close my eyes and stop thinking. I am tired and all I want to do is sleep and I can’t stop thinking…Stoppp thinking.
Next Subject.
I have KMFDM – Stray Bullet. Playing on repeat. It’s played 50 times today and counting. I love this song.
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And I think I just brain dumped the major bits and pieces I had on my mind that was worth talking about and I’m going to try to sleep now.
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