Another day is here, I am woken, not by gentle bird song and the sunshine pouring in through the window, or even raised from my slumber by an alarm clock that I can pop on snooze for 10 more minutes in my cozy dreamland. No I am woken by a 2 year old with a full nappy bouncing up and down on my head pretending to ride a horse, then the baby starts crying and we are off…back on the relentless hamster wheel of my life.
Ena wouldn’t wake like this, she would glide out of bed, slip her perfectly manicured feet into some sexy slippers and wrap a satin robe around her and sip coffee and maybe have a pastry with radio 3 playing something soothing, while she got ready to have a shower and choose her outfit for the day….. I am beginning to think Ena doesn’t have children!
And would I like to be her if that’s the case?
I am not so sure? Yes I am still wearing mostly maternity clothes, Yes my body now looks like a deflated bouncy castle, I also don’t remember what it’s like to sleep past 7am. I can no longer talk to anybody unless it’s about children, as i have no time for anything else in my life. ( I am working on that one though!)
But do you know what, having children in my life has brought me unexpected gifts, (No not the fact you sometimes wee a little bit when you weren’t planning to) I am more driven to do things now, I have so much less time, but I achieve more ? I don’t know how it works?
Goals, plans have so much more meaning, I feel somehow complete, like I have signed off on some parts of my life and can really focus on those things that were further down the list.
We are a family, and team, a unit….. Christmas makes sense, probably for the first time since I was a child myself and you felt that rustles at the foot of your bed and thought he’s been!!!
I wouldn’t change it, it’s the hardest I have ever worked, I have never been pushed so far mentally, physically and emotionally, but it’s empowering, liberating and exhilarating…… come on life I am ready for you bring it on…..
Now I am thinking about Ena in her perfect life of glamour and self indulgence….. would she know these feelings? and who is better off?
She probably doesn’t find toy’s in her handbag when she comes to pay for things at the shop….. she probably never jumps around the kitchen singing bob the builder with a 2 year old, she won’t know the feeling of cradling your child in your arms when they are upset and making everything better with a kiss. Maybe the grass isn’t greener???
No I’ll stick where I am thanks! I’d like to visit though, the odd night out, or weekend away, I’ll enjoy the glamour and self indulgence, but mostly I’ll just remember how lucky I am.
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