Save me - NOT!

“Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.” – Faith WhittleseySince the dawn of civilization, it has been believed that men and women were created with different roles to carry out in life; a set of responsibilities and duties that are meant to be executed and on which our physiques were designed and created. Men, being the physically stronger gender, are meant to work and provide shelter, protection and food. Women are meant to be nurturers, mothers and harmony-creators. This theory has succeeded in standing the test of time and, no matter how many “women movements” and “equal rights revolutions” take place, the differences in the – supposed – roles of each gender remain unchanged.

Building on this theory, men are therefore perceived as “saviors” to women. They come into our lives, sweep us off our feet, love and protect us, provide for us and we live happily ever after… NOT!

Regardless of whether this theory is correct or not, the reality we live in cannot be any further. For centuries, and for countless reasons and circumstances, women have been doing anything and everything men can do, even better than men do them, and in high heels.

Yet we are still perceived as a gender that needs to saved…

Hence, we are faced with a mentality that requires a woman to be a perfect lover, a perfect mother, a perfect home-keeper and a successful professional at work. We’re not just doing it better than men, we’re doing it backwards, sideways, up-side-down, looking smoking hot AND in high heels!

What surprises me at this moment is that men fail to perceive the fact that women, regardless of who is to blame, have become an independent gender. We earn our own money, fix our own cars, buy our own homes and raise our children alone (in many cases, even when the father is still present). So, why on God’s Earth are we still thought of as “damsels in distress” who need to be saved?

I’m not saying that men are dispensable, no sir. What I wish to get through is that, just like women have evolved into an independent species that can survive without men, men must therefore “”correct” their perception of us as a gender that needs to be rescued and, thus, bossed around. The mere fact that we are thought of this way makes us, by default, a submissive gender that is inferior to men and must be a follower. “I feed you; I am your God”. And here lies the dilemma that causes many relationships to fail…

With the “natural” roles of each gender so deeply carved in our minds, and if women are supposed to be “naturally” inferior, men should have absolutely nothing to fear should we let “nature” take its course. The mere fact that men DO fear female competition at work, at home, with children and almost everything else in our lives, raises sufficient doubt as to the validity of their claim as a superior gender that must “save”, “rescue” and “lead” the other.

And yet we are still perceived as a gender that needs to saved…

If men are to “adjust” their perceptions and treat women for the independent individuals that we are, their expectations and, thus, their duties, will be altered and we will finally live in a more realistic world.

As long as men remain stuck in the mold of the savior who must rescue the woman from the evils of the ugly world we live in, we will never be seen for who and what we really are; individuals who are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves.

I’ll admit that many women would prefer being pampered over having to work and take on more responsibilities. But, the fact remains, should the circumstances require, a woman can take on the role of a 100 men and overdo each of them simultaneously.

People, we are NOT a weak gender!

In this day and age, women simply do not NEED men any more, we just want them in our lives. There’s a massive difference between “needing” something and “wanting” it. We don’t need to be ’saved’ or ‘rescued’ anymore. We are not damsels in distress.

We need to be understood and respected. We need to be treated as the smart, independent, sensual beings that we are. We have been forced into a role that we may or may not have asked for, but we have succeeded in playing that role so well that it has now become expected of us to ridiculously multi-task and juggle husbands, kids, homes and jobs at the expense of our own sanity.

I write these words while I look over at my car being fixed at the mechanic’s and I am saddened by the thought that, I and many other like me, are believed to be second best and inferior to men. If we were to turn the table and ask the question in another manner; that is “Can men survive without women in their lives?”, we will definitely find a few “yeses”, but I bet the percentages will vary drastically… Who is going to feed them and handle the household chores? Who will succeed at balancing a job and raising the kids? Who will remember the birthdays, anniversaries and in-law visits? Who will drive the kids to school and take them to practice at the club? Who will buffer the stress that men feel when they are over-worked?

And yet we are still perceived as a weaker and inferior gender that needs to saved…

In this day and age, women need to be loved and understood, not fed, bossed around and abused. It is no longer about “del ragel wala del 7eita”. If all a man will do for me is provide a shadow, then, thank you very much, I’ll pass.

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